A short journey back in time - in the New Alley Oop

There's nothing in today's daily installment of Alley Oop which is even worthy of my time, so lemme just recap briefly what happened since the rebooting of Alley Oop which was once a great adventure strip, and the evolution so far of this new nincompoopy nonsensical silly sitcomic.

It all began on January 07th, 2019, when the new Alley Oop wakes up saying "Wow! I just had the strangest dream". But the real nightmare, a strangest one at that, was just beginning.

Yes, it was a real nightmare which the readers slowly began realizing. We see King Guz trying to fight off a dinosaur in the last panel of the first day (January 07, 2019), and in the first panel of the next day, he runs away in the background, never to be seen again almost until a year later, but just on one day. It was a clue to what was coming -- a meaningless gag-a-day gibberish goofiness gloating itself in glee every day.

Oola says a coconut fell on Oop's head, knocking him out (on 8th Januay 2019). Little did the readers know that that coconut concussion would render Alley Oop into a nincompoopy nutcase. But I think Oop would be reduced to the sad state we see him today nonetheless, that is, with or without this coconut concussion concoction.

It's more likely that this coconut concussion was a one-day-only concoction and doesn't bear any implications to whatever follows, just like the many lousy one-day-only gags we saw later on, where their purpose was only to serve as a gag for that day, only to be completely forgotten in the next days as if they never happened.

So this scenario ends some days later on January 10th with Oola saying that they were in a new universe and a ludicrously lame taco gag and Oop saying "Nooooooo!" at it. Was Oop ever interested in tacos in the first place? Maybe this was where the audience realized that they'd be the ones screaming "NOOOOOOOOO" themselves, looking at the ludicrously lousy state of this iteration of Alley Oop.

The very next day, on January 11th, Alley Oop begins acting like an utter idiot, and he has been so ever since. Now Oola is depicted as a smart know-it-all Mary Sue who is trying to explain thing to a dumb doofus Oop. Alley Oop's retconning into Alley Oaf is complete. The next day - the 12th of January, ends with another silly taco joke where Oop says "no tacos" referring to the nonsense of two days ago on the 10th of January that this universe had no tacos. Seriously, what the heck is this taco obsession anyway?

From what continued from this point onwards, the audience were undoubtedly gobsmacked as to what was going on this is comic, and why.

Now these were the first week's dailies. The very next day on Sunday January 13th, another surprise awaited the audience. Little Oop. A completely non-canonical Sunday comic about Alley Oop in his childhood, which almost looked like a rip-off off The Flintstones cartoons. This Little Oop installment even had a talking dinosaur who's a physical trainer or a coach who tells Oop and his pal (who is not Foozy, but some other kid who looks like a forced necessity to include diverse characters) to do a lap. This was an absolutely absurd bizarre baloney for not only depicting that they're in a school with rock-cut buildings (à la The Flintstones), but what's the deal with the sentient talking dinosaur who's a physical trainer or a school coach for humans?

In the very same Sunday strip, in another panel, there's a random dinosaur in the background, one who is naked and unlike this sentient coach dinosaur who wears clothes. So what are we supposed to accept as a canon here? That dinosaurs are sentient intelligent talking creatures who take jobs at human-run institutions? Then how come in the rest of the Sundays there were dinosaurs who were just like any other regular animal on this planet? Again, on February 3rd, a dinosaur talks to Oop, but he looks like a regular naked dinosaur like the others who are napping and invites Little Oop to nap with them. So, I guess all dinosaurs talk now in the Sundays?

Coming back to the dailies, on January 14th, the new Dr. Wonmug just ZANGs into the first panel. The next day on January 15th, Wonmug explains with puns including the names of Hamlin, Graue, and Benders, as to how they ended up in this "new dimension". As we go on reading further, we find that Dr. Wonmug isn't in his own self too, and he too has been hit with the reckless retconning rays. He acts smart whenever it's convenient for the concoction, and he acts dumb on the rest of the days.

Coming back to January 16th, Dr. Wonmug reveals the purpose of his time travel to Moo -- To take Oop's help to open a jar of mayonnaise. Oh haw haw. And the next day, on January 17th, Wonmug reveals that he time traveled to Moo for a bigger mission of utmost importance -- which is to have Oop open his bag of potato chips because his fingers were too greasy to do it himself. Oh haw haw haw. And this is when the first time traveling "adventure" of this terrible trio begins in the New Oop.

This sort of gibberish gags are the heart and soul of this silly sitcomic now. And every time the long-time Oop fans go gobsmacked with "good grief".

And soon, we are taken to the terrible time traveling twerp trio's turgid time traveling travesties, where we see the new Ooola who's more of a somewhat mild mannered Mary Sue instead of her original feisty self, Dr. Wonmug acting like an idiot whenever he's not talking smart, and Alley Oop being an utterly gibbering goofy idiotic man-child who tries to eat almost whatever he puts his hands on, whether the stuff is edible or not.

Their first adventure beginning on 18th January 2019, was to recover a precious artifact from 1986 -- a mix-tape that Wonmug lost in 1986. Wonmug dude, you've got a freakin' time machine. Just go to a point where you know you held that mix-tape and just bring it back with you. Where's the adventure in that and why do you need Alley and Ooola for that? Duh! And this sort of asinine absurdities which try to charade as actual adventures, continues to this date.

I'd have made a more detailed analysis, but I'm keeping this brief and fast-forwarding through to more recent times because I'm short of time.

On the 13th of June 2019, Dr. Wonmug introduces his handy little portable pocket time-travel cube. Silly as it is, I guess that one we can digest in the name of science fiction. After all, we did digest Hamlin's Wonmug watching events that happen way back in Moo on a TV monitor connected to his ol' time machine full of vacuum tubes. But no explanations offered for how this new portable pocket time-travel cube works. Not that we expect an explanation in this new nincompoopy nonsense, that is.

And then, on June 17th of 2019, we are taken to a new universe, with an Alley Oop and Ooola lookalikes. The alternate universe Oop looks like Oop himself, but wears modern clothes instead of furry shorts. The alternate Ooola is a blonde, and they're both super-smart, unlike their dumb counterparts, except for the Mary Sue Ooola, of course. This was probably where this multi-universe nonsense began in this New Oop sitcomic, if I'm not mistaken or missed anything in-between. The alternate Oop and Ooola are called Ollie and Eena beacuse... uh... er... because whatever.

And more bombastic buffoonery ensue with their interdimesnional buffoon-o-meter and the utterly preposterous concocted concept that someone altering something in their own "timeline" in their own universe causes some other totally random and unrelated things in another universe to change. These drab diatribes against Dr. Womnug with Oop and Ooola's time traveling "adventures" causing alterations in timelines of other universes continues for a pretty long time until this whole angle is preposterously written off months later as Wonmug, Ooola, and Alley all simply walk out of a time-crime court in another universe by saying that they were going to get nachos for all. And more absurdly they escape that universe with more bizarre nonsense thrown at the audience each day.

I'd have discussed with more details, but due to shortage of time, I'll have to cut this one short here. I think I've had enough agony recollecting this agonizing absurdity of absolute asininity.

Finally, all the bizarre "adventures" beginning with the mix-tapes and followed by the Ancient Greece and Plato "adventure", the time-crime alternate universe nonsense, the Boston Tea Party "adventure", and the most recent Ancient Aliens in Egypt "adventure" -- they all had some thing in common -- none of them had a real adventure or a real story even. They were all a collection of silly stinky gibberish gags every day under the garb of a goofy adventure. The audience wasn't happy with all this, and some even regularly expressed the same on the comment boards.

And nobody expected what happened next - the entire comment boards to the Alley Oop comic was removed. Including the classics. An attempt apparently attempted to silence all the criticisms by the long-time fans who largely loathed the sad state of the current Alley Oop. As of now, there are no comment boards on Alley Oop.

And the takeaway from their latest "adventure" is that ancient aliens did not build the pyramids but they gave their most valuable technology to the humankind -- a pencil. Or maybe an ear cleaner. Oh whatever. We also learnt that there were giant domestic cat rides in Ancient Egypt, and their booking office was in the middle of somewhere in the desert, instead of somewhere in the town.

And we also know that ancient Egyptian princess who looked like Ooola, had dated with one little green dumb alien.

A meme on how the Ancient Alien wooed the Ancient Egyptian Princess

And so, we bid farewell to the ancient aliens, thanking them for the pencils. I'm done for today. Leave your thoughts and comments, folks.