Moovians

It is hard to believe but we have started the sixth year of the Jonathan Lemon - Alison Sayers team-up, which I affectionately call "Lemsay". Back on January 7, 2019, the first daily from this team appeared. It wasn't like the Benders, Jack and Carole, had set the world on fire with their plodding story lines, labored dialog, and artwork that became noticeably worse every day.  Fans thought that the strip could not get any worse but nobody knew exactly what to expect whne the Benders retired. The very first strip showed that things weren't going to be  anything like what long-time fans were hoping to see. The first panel (below) showed a poorly drawn  Oop laying under a tree that looked more like a modern era tree than anything like the swampy trees that had previously populated the Bone Age. We soon found out that Oop had been sleeping and had awakened in an alternate universe, a universe where the only difference is that this universe has no tacos. Hilarious, right...

 Another typical and preditable Joey Sayers story. Against the usual but very casual warning of Doc Wonmug, Ooola and Oop head off to the future because they want to see Utopia. Except, of course, that it isn't "Utopia" but "Eutopia", Joey's overused and unfunny habit of slighty misspelling a word. (remember the "Crabs" had to be called "Chrabs"?) Why is it Eutopia? Just because. But, as can be expected, this isn't a real Utopia either and Alley and Oop are easily overcome and thrown into an underground that somehow fulfills the wishes of the Eutopians. How this works is never explains because, for Joey, writing is really, really hard work and she needs to focus on useless, throwaway gags. The hallmark of all of Sayers' writing is there is no conflict and no drama; it's just a real yawner. Today an inhabitant of the underground approaches our dizzy duo and asks if they want to escape. Duh!  But have our heroes forgot that the...

I haven't commented on this strip for quite a while  because the basic lack of logic in the stories, the total disregard for the long established basic premises that made this strip so great, the abysmal art and the even more abysmal choice of background colors, the Sunday strip, the utter stupidness of the main characters, the lack of true dramatic conflice - gee, is there anything good about this version of "Oop"? Soemtimes I don't even know where to begin. But today, at the start of a new story where Alley and Ooola travel to Utopia, Joey tries to be funny by ripping off a classic Talking Heads' song, "Nothing But Flowers".  The song deals with a post-apocalyptic world where all of the "mod cons" of our world have vanished and people resort to eating nuts and berries, among other less attractive alternatives. David Bynre sings: "We caught a rattlesnake Now we got something for dinner We got it, we got it There was a shopping mall Now it...

 Today's strip is about as stupid as it gets. Alley explains to Ollie that Allen destroyed Universe 2's atmosphere and killed off "almost everyone on earth". News flash for Joey - destroy the atmosphere and <i>everything</i> living dies, not just most people. A person's lungs would explode in a few seconds so they would never have been able to have made it to the safety lab way back when. But, wait just a minute. Back on December 1, Doc said that oxygen has been removed from the atmosphere, which isn't good either but is an entirely different problem. In either event, though, the Three Stooges should be dead and we should never have met Allen. So what was it, Joey - was the oxygen in the atmosphere destroyed or was it the atmosphere? Inquiring minds want to know if for no other reason than to have a good laugh. Today's nonsense: December 1 nonsense:

January 7 marked the third anniversary of Lemon and Sayers takeover of this once great comic strip. Since nothing happened, we can only assume that they are good to go for another year. Ouch. Mark Thomas has been posting the links to the strips twenty years ago which is just finishing up the first story solely produced by the Benders. At that point, it was the worst "Alley Oop" story ever but the Benders would follow that with another 17 years of nonsensical garbage that continuously set new lows. And yet, somehow, the Lemsay team has surpassed even the Benders in banality. What has the new team brought to the strip in their short tenure? We've seen the unnecessary introduction of multiple  universes, each with a "theme" meant to amuse but ultimately that attempt fails because they just don't make sense. How could a a universe made up entirely of villains, or butlers, or puppies, or whatever, sustain itself? As a plot point, it's just a big yawn. Then th...

I've held off writing any reviews of AO all through the "Raptor 500" race sequence because it just seemed to get dumber and dumber every day. Oop wanders off for quite some time and yet somehow wins the 500 race even though he clearly did not go around the course 500 times. Why did he win? "Because". I really don't have a complaint about Oop doing a takeoff of a modern day race. Hamlin certainly did a number of sequences like this in the early years involving golf, football, and even the circus. But those were the stories of a young cartoonist trying to find his way rather than veteran cartoonists that seemed to have lost their way. It also didn't hurt that they were funnier and made more sense.  In our tale there is still no sign of Oop's old friends like Guz, Wizer, or heaven forbid, Foozy. Instead we saw a token appearance of Garg, the token character of color, now retconned into Oop's BFF. As the story ends, we find our heroes unwinding in a ...

So what would a time-cube look like if Doc had to build one in ancient Moo with whatever is at hand? Apparently an ugly, green shoebox held together with string with a rock on top. Sure, that thing is going to transport you across countless centuries. Doc says he only had limited resource but, come on, he had no resources. Yet somehow we are supposed to believe that he built a fully functional time-machine not only with no resources but no tools either. The suspension of disbelief can only go so far. Can't somebody (hint: Jonny Lemon) tell Joey that the time-cube is just an extension of the still functioning time-machine? Any time their assistant, Ava, can simply pull them back in. That's the way it has been since 1939 and still was until the Lemsay team took over. Do that and this silly story could be over and we could be on to our next wacky adventure.  The story that never was continues onward: https://www.gocomics.com/alley-oop/2021/10/22

I think the dumbometer completely blew up with today's strip. It has been overloaded from the start of this story - heck, really from Joey's first day - but today just seems so incredibly stupid. The basic premise for the entire story has been a false one, that the three time-travelers have no way to return to the 21st Century when Ava should be able to bring them back any time with the time-machine. The past few weeks have focused on a really hard-to-understand sequence that involved meteors containing minerals they need to build new time-cubes luckily falling where our heroes could find them. None of it made any sense but that didn't stop Joey from continuing on with the nonsensical yarn. But, today, rather than building time-cubes, Doc builds an air-conditioner! If you could somehow accept the idea that anybody could single-handedly build an air-conditioner, how about the rest of it? Wonmug has no electronic components, such as an an evaporator, condenser, expansion valv...

Sigh. You think this strip can't get any dumber but it does, day after day. Joey got into her current mess by creating a fake problem for our three heroes. She contrived to have a dinosaur step on the time-cubes to create the potential that the Three Amigos would be stuck in the Bone Age, excuse me, Stone Age. But that makes readers wonder what has happened to Ava and the time-machine. Shouldn't she be able to bring them back anytime she wants to? Has she simply forgotten this or does she just assume that nobody would notice? So how does Joey solve the problem that really isn't really a problem? Her usual way with stuff that just randomly happens to help the helpless trio. First, Alley says he's heard that a weird meteor has hit old man Krank's cave (9/24). It happens to be time-onium (the only element name with a hyphen in it) which just happens to be what Doc needs to rebuild the time-cubes. Even though Doc knows that he can use it on the time-cubes, he has no id...

 Comic strips are an interesting medium to see how the author develops the story. Hamlin was notorious for taking readers down a certain route and then all of a sudden throwing a wrench into the story and taking it in a different direction. Usually, but not always, the change was effected by some malfunction of the time-machine. Part of the fun of reading the stories was to see how the characters would adapt to the different environment. But no matter what happened, the action always seemed realistic and the characters' reaction believable once you accepted the basic premise of a time-traveling caveman. A good example was the recently posted story on the classics page where Oop and Boom are supposed to go to New Orleans at the time of the Louisiana Purchase but end up in Paris instead. The two decide to stay in Paris to see what happens rather than have Doc retrieve them and a great story involving Napoleon ensues followed by another story involving 19th Century pirates. In contras...

Today's strip serves up another dose of "fake drama", a hallmark of every Sayers story since the takeover. Doc Wonmug is frantic because he has lost the time-cubes and he feels that the lives of the Three Stooges is now over and they will have no way to return to the 21st Century. That makes no sense for Alley and Ooola who are from Moo and would have no trouble returning to life in Moo as they have for decades since the time-machine was invented. But why can't Doc get back to the modern world? Is the time-machine borken? Has Joey forgotten that Ava is back in the time-lab and can bring them back anytime she wants just like in the olden days? There really hasn't been any dramatic tension in any of the stories as Joey winds up her third year with the stip. The drama is fake which is why the stories are so drearily boring. The latest doom and gloom from the Undynamic Duo: https://www.gocomics.com/alley-oop/2021/09/18

When Lemsay introduced the time-cubes, they were supposed to be an improvement over the "amulet". But the amulet allowed more than one person to be transported in time, much like the original time-machine which simply picked up the people within a certain radius. How is having each person need their own personal time-cube an improvement? Plus the old device could be worn around a person's neck so that you wouldn't have the problem Doc is having today. The new devices are also far bulkier than the amulet ever was and more difficult to carry. There is no way, other than Lemon's poor drawing, that Doc could fit three of the time-cubes in a single hand. Maybe Alley Oop with his Johnny Bench-size hands could do it but Doc, no way. Other than Joey saying the cubes are an improvement, I just don't see it.  Is there any point any more to the retconned, purple-haired Ava? Couldn't she pull them back to the 21st Century like in the olden days if the cubes are lost? ...

 here are a lot of reasons to dislike the current version of Alley Oop. The really dumb jokes, poor artwork, lack of detailed backgrounds, silly stories with huge plot holes, the over-reliance on "magic" to get the characters out of trouble, Ollie Arp, the dumbing down of the characters, the elimination of major characters (Boom, King Guz, Foozie), the time-cube, the multi-dimensions, the lack of understanding of basic science - phew, that's quite a list and I probably missed a few. But one that has bothered me for some time is the total disregard for what has happened in the past. Long-time fans know of stories from the past that contradict whatever nonsense that Joey has cooked up. Today is a good example where Joey throws out the idea that there are only two "countries" in the Bone Age - Lem and Moo. Sure, saying that sets up today's joke but it isn't a very funny one. Fans know that over the years there have many other places besides Moo and Lem.  So...

Earlier in this story, Doc couldn't use the time-cube to travel to the Moon because it hadn't been charged. So how were they able to return to the lab today? I have no idea but Joey can't be bothered with continuity. And thus ends another adventure with the usual head-scratching events. Today's head-scratcher: https://www.gocomics.com/alley-oop/2021/09/03

Today Doc has figured out how to drive the bubble. He simply pushes a button on a two-button remote control and says where he wants to go. Except if you look back at the 8/9 strip when Frodd drives the bubble, he isn't holding a device of any kind and he doesn't tell the bubble where to go. If Joey planned enough in advance, she should have planted the idea of how the bubble moves through vast amounts of space so that today's strip made some sense. That is what makes continuity in a comic strip, connecting the daily strips so that the action follows in a logical manner rather than existing as a bunch of random events aided by deus ex machina after deus ex machina . And Joey, having Wonmug tell the bubble to take them to the moon is so much nonsense. There are over 200 moons in our solar system alone. How would any spacecraft know which moon to go to out of the thousands, if not millions, of moons in the vast universe. Today's trip to nowhere: https://www.gocomics.com/a...

Does anybody remember that this is a story about the 1969 moon landing? Somehow it evolved or, more accurately, devolved into a sly commentary about God through the introduction of Frodd, a character who controls the destiny of 7 billion earthlings as if playing a video game. Except there wasn't any commentary, sly or otherwise, just the implication that mankind has no free will because Frodd controls everything. Frodd puts the game on pause implying (once again nothing is ever stated so the reader has to make make things up, just like Joey) that the world stops in its tracks until Frodd finishes his dinner. Does that make sense? Does any of this make sense? It apparently doesn't have to as the strip continues to increase in popularity. But reading today' strip I feel like I missed something. Doc now says they are a billion light-years away from Frodd? Huh? How did that happen? Doc calculated the distance away with something but with what is anybody's guess. And how is ...

Today Joey posits another idea, that planets outside the Milky Way Galaxy are flat. Sorry, Joey but it doesn't work that way, that the laws of physics operate differently in different parts of the universe. Planets in other galaxies are spheres, too, just like here. It can't be any other way for a true planet- a piece of space debris might be "flat" but a planet never. What she suggests is so mind boggingly dumb that its absolutely laughable. What's the deal with the spaceship? What propels it? How does it travel such vast distances when it is made out of plexiglass? The usual Sayers reasons - "just because". Joey doesn't bother to explain anything - no hyperdrive or a spaceship made out of "impervium" - because that would take work and effort. Just let everything happen by magic, so much easier that way. And what happened to yesterday' setup? They were supposed to be in suspended animation for the long journey and yet they are awake as...

Joey has proven time after time that she has no understanding of science or scientific terms. Today she mangles a very basic astronomical concepm, light-year. A light-year the distance that light travel in a year so it is a measure of distance not of time. A a physicist like Elbert Wonmug would know that. Whether they can live long enough to travel 40,000 light years is dependent about how fast they are travelling not that they are going that far. If they can travel that distance in five minutes, I think they will survive. Joey, of course, uses such an absurd number to set up the "we won't live that long" joke. But isn't Frodd just going home for dinner? They need suspended animation for that? Won't dinner be cold by the time they get there? And for that matter, why is this guy on a moon around a planet so far from his home? There has to be a planet or two closer than this to play his video games on. And how does he breathe on a world with no air? I'm beginnin...

There is a rare post (#117) today on "Comics Curmudgeon" about Alley Oop at https://joshreads.com/2021/08/joshreads-dot-com-will-never-respect-the-corporate-language-police-unless-they-even-vaguely-threaten-to-sue-me/#comment-2592727y</b> comments:  " Alley Oop has taken a strangely anti-religious turn for a time travel cavemen cartoon. The current storyline features a one-eyed moon man called “Frodd” (geddit, “Fraud”?) who controls all life on Earth like a Sims game and is described as almighty. Also, Gocomics turned comments off on the strip, so I can only imagine the carnage that was going on in there." I have gotten so used to the cutesy names on this strip that I read over this one without it even registering but Guy has brought up a point that I had been thinking about, that Frodd is defined as God. He will be the key to the Three Stooges returning as they shouldn't be able to get back to the fake Apollo 11 capsule and the time-cubes aren't charg...

How many times can you run the "dark side of the moon joke out there? I guess if you're Joey, it can't be calculated. If Joey keeps repeating herself, I guess I can too. The"dark" side of the moon is called so because we can't see that side of the moon from us. If you are standing on the moon, one side of the is not dark. I'll quote from a different source than what I used the other day: " The 'dark side' of the Moon refers to the hemisphere of the Moon that is facing away from the Earth. In reality it  is no darker than any other part of the Moon's surface  as sunlight does in fact fall equally on all sides of the Moon." If it takes too much effort for Joey to do basic research, maybe she could come to this blog and learn something. Of course, the whole purpose of even saying "dark side of the moon" is to set up the unfunny Pink Floyd joke. But c'mon, Joey. You've already set it up that as a grad student Wonmug w...